Sowing Memories

Today felt like spring.  We walked to the park and met with friends. Watched a few trains go by. Shared snacks with dirty fingers and thieving powdered-sugar doughnut mustaches. 

Brixton walked a ways away, chasing birds.  I let him run until I felt that tug of the mother-rope that said, "Get him." 

We found ourselves in the furthest corner of the park, me content in my bright patch of sunlight, watching while Brixton explored, imagined, and learned.

Out of the fray of the playgroup, I could hear them all.  Mothers laughing, kids running and playing.  And the sun shined down upon us all, so warm. 

These park days are limited, I realized.

One day I will drive past this park and remember. 

Remember his little feet running, running so fast, running nowhere and somewhere at the same time.

We won't play there anymore.  That time will pass.  And only the echos of our play will remain there, voiced in the next rising generation of children and moms who are just starting on their journey to make memories and pass the time.

God is so good.

He lets us recapture a bit of our childhood through our children.  We stare at our children's faces while they are taking in a new experience, looking for that glint, that smile, that spark that says, wow!  Childhood is too, too short and that never becomes as painfully obvious as when you become a parent.  So we long to have children, to give them our experiences, to show them new ones, to bring to life a world that can be so full and tender. 

If having a child is like reliving a bit of your own childhood, then I can only imagine that being a grandparent is like reliving the early years of your own precious child's life.  I often imagine Brixton small again, so pocket-sized and helpless, sleeping contentedly in my arms.  How I long for that again!  It dawned on me today, this cycle of life.  Living it, reliving it, loving, and longing to love again. 

One day, if Brixton has a child, I will take that little one to the parks I used to play in as a little girl.  Except I won't only be thinking of my own childhood, I'll be remembering when I brought Brixton there to play, to jump, to breathe in the same dust and smells that I did so long before.  

Today I laid soaking up the sunlight, making memories in the park, because it's our time to plant these seeds of childhood.