Giving Notice

I just sat here a minute and read through my last blog post.

I had no idea that within a few hours of hitting "publish" it was all going to change.

The first thing that happened is that Brendan and I decided to separate.  While this may be *shocking* news to you, it felt like 8 long years in the making to us.  I'm not going to detail all the reasons, but we had the best of intentions when marrying on that gorgeous May day in San Diego.  

Like two puzzle pieces that just don't fit, we tried and tried and tried and tried.  The fighting, constant bickering, and general malaise of the situation affected not only both of us, but one certain little boy who had taken to yelling at us to "Stop fighting!" even if we were just having a lively discussion about something fun or interesting from life. 

Brixton, a sensitive little soul from the start, has anger issues.  You know what causes that in a 4 year old?  Adults yelling.  Adults fighting.  Adults with grumpy faces. 

Sure, we could have stuck it out for 5, 10, 15 more years.  More bickering.  More fighting.  More tension.  More anger.  It didn't make sense.  For us or for him. 

And that's all I'm saying about it. 

That happened on a Friday night. 

Friday afternoon, in a homesick, unhappy fog, I randomly went to the website for teaching jobs in California and searched for jobs in Orange County.  There were none.  Then I searched Butte County, where my hometown is.

And there were jobs.  Two jobs, in fact.

Whatever, I thought.  I'll just apply because I should update my info on here anyway.  It's not like I'm going to actually get a job or anything.

So I applied.

Long story short, I got interviews.  And I got jobs.  Two job offers. 

One of which I accepted.  In my hometown.  In a middle school. 

Then I got a place to live.

Meanwhile, I was packing.  Talking with Brendan about how all this would work.  (He's moving to the Bay Area very soon--just about 2.5 hours away).  We did everything as amicably as we could.

On Saturday, August 15th, Brixton and I left Illinois, towing a small trailer filled to the brim with boxes, beds, and anything else we could cram into the space.  Barely enough time to say good-bye to friends.  There were tears.  Confusion.

Side note: driving on the 80?  It's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.  Sorry, Wyoming.  You're ugly.  Salt Lake City?  You have potential, but get rid of that smog.

Three days later we crossed the border into the Golden State.  It's been a whirlwind of unpacking, setting up utilities, getting ready to start teaching, and dealing with an unexpected gut-punch of loneliness and sadness so profound I can literally feel it on me. 

Brendan's coming for a visit this week--staying for 5 days.  Brixton can't wait and I know Brendan can't either.  Our house is up for sale come Monday and we're praying it sells quickly, so Brendan can get out here sooner rather than later.