Is He Yours?

Welcome, welcome everyone, to this edition of...

Rude, or Not Rude!

I'm Kelley, your hostess with the mostess!  (Claps)  Now this game is really easy, I tell you a story from my 'real life', and you tell me if it's..

(audience yelling)

RUDE OR NOT RUDE!  (claps, whistles.  Someone brought in a vuvuzela, but security is escorting them out now).   

So I went over to Whole Foods the other day with Mr. Brixton.  We had a great time going up and down the aisles, sampling an olive spread from exotic Michigan, and watching our wallets drain out as we loaded the cart with various, delicious, goods.  

While standing in the check out line, the woman in front of us turned around and started cooing over Brixton.

"My, he's so handsome"

"Thank you!"

"How old is he?"

"He's just about 11 months."

"What's his name?"

"Brixton."

(Pause while processing weird name.)

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"Oh, I like that!  Brix-ton."

(Pause).

 "Is he yours?"

THE FOllOWING HAPPENED IN .3 SECONDS IN MY HEAD: Obviously, lady.  I'm certainly not his grandma if that's what you were thinking(Isthatwhatyouwerethinking?OhmygoshdoesshethinkI'mhisgrandma??)

"Well, actually, since you asked, my story starts several years ago.  You see, I never wanted children and even told my husband, then boyfriend, that on like our 3rd date.  A few years passed and I still didn't want kids.  We got married and then we talked about it briefly but then we chickened out and carried on like we had a million more years to put it off.  Then I got a little older and we fell on hard times because of the recession.  I had to become a nanny again and I completely fell in love with the little girl I was watching.  I then decided that I wanted to have a baby.  It took a few more years to get my husband on board, but one day he was joking around saying something about our non-existant future child and I started crying because I didn't think it was funny.  It was then that he noticed I was serious and his goose was cooked.  I was pregnant 4 months later.  I had a really easy pregnancy and ended up having the baby 2 weeks early, which was great.  Luckily he was healthy and adorable, so we decided to keep him (chortle).  The moral of this story is, don't ask questions like "Is he yours?" in a grocery store to a complete stranger since you obviously don't know what kind of answer you are going to get.  And yes, he's mine."

Okay, I didn't say that.  I should have. Here's what happened:

"No, I just picked him up on aisle 3 next to the organic kale chips.  If you hurry you might be able to get one too.  There were only a few left."

I wish I had said that.  It's just snarky enough to answer the question without really answering it.  

The truth, folks?  Although I felt a little sting of sadness that my baby doesn't look enough like me to convince a stranger that he's mine, I'm far too polite to be rude to someone, even if they are treading on that kind of gray area of manners and asking questions that really don't need to be asked.

That's why I just raised my eyebrows up a bit, gave a tight-lipped smile and nodded yes.

So, ladies and gentlemen, what do you think?  Rude or not rude?  Has this happened to you?