That One Toddler in Class...

Have you ever signed your kid up for a tot class, like music, dance, or art, only to find that there's one other kid in the group that messes it up for everyone else?

Yeah, that happened to us today.

We had our first "Tot-Rock" class, another ho-hum attempt at wasting 45 minutes in an otherwise bleak day of diaper changes, being slapped, and small toys underfoot.  (Not that I'm bitter or anything). 

Brixton was so excited at first.  Running into the middle of the circle.  Screeching with joy. Dancing.  People around me were like, Wow, what a cool kid!  And my mom feathers got all fluffy with unabashed pride.  

But then this kid showed up.  He didn't want to sit in mommy's lap during instruction time.  He kept trying to pull stuff off the table, making the teacher turn around and encourage him to sit back down.  He threw his tambourine.  His mom tried to make him sit, but she was failing miserably and I guess she decided making a toddler sit down in a Tot-Rock class is like making someone leave Target without spending at least $50 over budget.  And the kid kept farting.  Everywhere.  Loudly.  And each time he did it, he would say, "Toot-Toot".  So disgusting and tasteless.  

I got a picture of the little class-ruiner:

 
It's weird, his name was Brixton.  

Half-way through the class, Brixton became a wildebeest (yes, that's how you spell it.  I had to look it up). He ran without direction during the times everyone else was sitting still, yet he stood frozen when all the other kids were running around.  He growled and roared and screamed, which all the other parents thought was cute and charming at first, but not so much the 20th time around.  

At one point, he went up to a little boy, pointed at his shirt, then slowly moved his finger up to the little boy's cheek and back down to the shirt.  Why?  What does that mean?  Who knows.  The little boy stood stock still in the apparent belief that if he didn't move, Brixton wouldn't be able to see him, in the same way the people in Jurassic Park were told to stay still so the T-Rex wouldn't see them.  The little boy's mother, afraid that Brixton's behavior was catching, ran over to her precious, bent down and made sure he wasn't traumatized, all the while keeping a wary, evil eye on Brixton, lest he try to do that pointing thing again.

At the end of the class, I was exhausted, everyone was avoiding eye-contact with me, and during the good-bye song, where everyone else sang out, "Goodbye Clare! Goodbye Aiden!" with clear, strong voices, when it came our turn it was more like, "Goodbye Blah blah...." and I swear someone said, "I hope you don't come back", hidden in the clapping rhythm of the song. 

But we will be back, folks, 10am Thursday.  This tot was made to rock.