Mommy Groups

One of the best parts of living in the city now is meeting other moms and making friends.  I've signed myself up for about 6 meetup groups, all in the hopes of making some good connections and giving Brixton a chance to see that other children use their arms and legs to propel themselves across rooms. You know, learning from others and all that.

I went to my first mommy group yesterday.  Mommy groups are kind of weird.  A bunch of strangers, sitting around in a room, watching/ignoring our kids and talking about random things, like birth stories and hemorrhoids.  I guess it's only weird at first until you get to know each other. 

All was well.  Then it started sounding like one of the "Stuff _____________ Say" videos.  This one would have been called Stuff Mommy Group Members Say.  "Who's your doula?"  "What did your midwife say?"  "Did you try acupuncture for that?"  "Is it organic?"  At one point my coffee almost shot out of my nose as I tried to stifle inner-laughter. 

Then I put my coffee down on a table.  I'm no beginner around kids, so I placed it in a respectable distance from the edge.  Well, this little boy apparently had the wing span of an eagle, because I heard splash, mother gasps, and the soft cries of a coffee drenched kid.  Luckily, I'd been there a while and the coffee was lukewarm at most.  For a second, I didn't realize it was my coffee.  Mommy-brain and all.  Then, it became clear.  I apologized a few times, since obviously in an adult vs. kid coffee spilling scenario, the adult is actually always to blame.  The kid spent the rest of the playgroup topless, his fat stomach protruding out, his nipples looking at me, saying  "Hey Coffee Lady.  Now no one here is gonna be your friend."

Also not a good thing to do when just meeting people you don't know: bashing Republicans.  How do you know I'm not one?  How do you know my entire family isn't?  What an assumption.  Like only young-ish, educated, and very good looking mothers can't be Republicans.  Be the tolerance you preach.  I'm printing that on a shirt and wearing it to our next meetup next week. Get yours HERE.  Just kidding.  I wouldn't actually link that.  xo