Do You Zoo Bloop Blim?

"Beep! Beep!  Beep! Beep!"

You would have thought a truck was backing into our driveway, but no, that was just me pushing Brixton in his high chair across the floor.

"Boop!" 

 That's the sound I make when I am cleaning his face and the "Bzzzzzzz" sound is for the spoon coming down toward his mouth.

It dawned on me the other day that almost everything I do, every move I make includes the use of some noise, usually high pitched, usually said with big eyes and a smile some would label as "crazy."  

It's like one day I went to sleep as a normal functioning adult and then woke up in a cartoon, the kind without words, but definitely with sound effects.   

Other fan favorites include:

-Boo!

-Wah!

-Zoop!

-Bing!

-Ahh!

-Boing!

-jeeeeezzz!

and don't forget..

Voom!

There was a day, I know there was, that I could make food/take a shower/eat something without making these sounds or stretching my facial muscles in such ways that I absolutely start thinking about the wrinkles that this is all going to cost me.  So why do we do it? (Because I KNOW you do too..okay, if you have a baby you do, if you don't have a baby allow me to suggest this website).  For me, it's keeping Brixton engaged, happy, and strangely..QUIET!  If I'm the one making the noise, it's less likely that he'll start the dreaded whine..the sound in my opinion that is worse than the loudest of ear-piercing screams.  

There are different types of whines I've found: the "I'm-bored-entertain-me" whine is usually done while looking at you.  The "I'm-too-tired" whine is easy to spot, with rubbing eyes and a sour face.  The "I'm-hungry" whine involves a desperate look.  

But then we come to The Worst Whine.  

Usually reserved for days when everything is sunny and bright, maybe you got your Amazon delivery in the mail, maybe your paycheck showed up in your checking with a little something extra, maybe your skin is clear and you've suddenly lost 2 lbs.  

You know, that kind of a day.  

The Worst Whine strikes often in the evening, just when you've almost crossed that invisible mothering banner that says "Bedtime" and collected your medals by sitting on the couch/eating hot food/showering.  The Worst Whine was formerly called the "I'm-going-to-make-this-sound-for-no-apparent-reason-and-nothing-you-do-is-going-to-help" whine, but was shortened for obvious reasons.  That great day you were having? Ruined.  Your blood pressure shoots up, your tricks don't work, you find yourself in desperate situations, like hiding under the desk in the dark with your ears covered, hoping like a swarm of bees it will just go away. 

No one knows exactly what causes The Worst Whine, where it comes from and when it will strike again.  We do know that all the zooms, boos, blips, boings, wahs and gagoos in the world won't help you, but they do seem to taunt the child, making The Worst Whine even worse.  

And what's that all about, by the way?  My child cries, so I make happy faces, noises, dance like a monkey, do all manner of ridiculous things, but because of The Worst Whine, the inner-dialogue of the possessed goes something like this:

 "No no Mommy person. Brixton no want smile. Brixton want Mommy cry.  Mommy happy ruin Brixton good time no smile. That make Brixton mad."

That's the point I throw in the towel, move my "Bedtime" banner up an hour and call it good.  

Zoom zlim boo bloop?