It Goes By So Fast...

...so says the lady at the grocery store, at the mall, in the parking lot, at the deli counter..

Enjoy it, it goes by so fast!

Virtually every stranger-woman I've encountered has said this to me.

I don't want to hear it anymore.

I don't want to hear it because it's true.  I don't want to hear it because it's already been 2 months.  I don't want to hear it because I have a 2 month old in 6 month old clothing.  

I don't want to hear it because it breaks my heart.

The story is always the same.  A kindly lady pauses and peeks into the stroller, eyes crinkled, a smile, a soft intake of air before the breathy compliments begin.  

Lines on their faces tell their stories.  Their struggles and mishaps, the diaper changes and late night feedings they had so long ago.  The hand holding and afternoons spent at the library.  

In that moment, they are gazing on their own child, in their mind's eye, they see the past, their firstborn.  They are young again in that moment, the mothers, their hearts filling with love at every new coo and squeal.  Long before the age spots and wrinkles tarnished their beauty.

A pause: perhaps they are thinking about their own, where did the time go? How did she get so big? It was only yesterday..

It all happens in a second.

Then we make eye contact and I can see it: the heartache of time, the memories that life hands you as an eternal keepsake, the wishes that they could do it all again, the pain of motherhood that doesn't just stop at the delivery, but is part of a lifelong afterbirth.

The smile comes last, closed-lipped, the corners of the mouth turning delicately up, signaling longing.

Enjoy it, they say, enjoy it.